If you have a lemon, make lemonade.

Last friday I went to the club wearing a new white Hillfiger-shirt I had bought that day. Some drunk moron bumped into me and I spilled my red whine over my shirt. The big stain made me feel selfconcious and I was thinking, how can I pickup chicks when I have a big red stain on my shirt?!
But then I remembered the saying: 'If you have a lemon, make lemonade.'

I decided to use the stain to my advantage. So instead of feeling down because my shirt was ruined, for the remainder of the evening I used my shirt as an opener:

'Hey guys, I need some female advice. Some drunk guy just bumped into me and spilled red whine over my shirt. Do you think I will be able to get my shirt clean again?'

In the end I got the stain out of my shirt after putting some bleach on it, but this opener worked so well I'm considering wearing a stained shirt on purpose the next time I go out!

As you can see, you can turn every negative experience around and have it work in your advantage.

LR: Tha Milf-Lord strikes back! Part 2

Part 1 of this Lay Report can be read here: Click here for Part 1

So I picked this chick up from the club. We got or coats and went outside.
We took a cab to her home, on her cost. Kissing in the cab.
We entered her house, and more kissing ensued.
We lied down on her couch and took of each others clothes piece for piece.
It was easy up to this point, but then she started to object a little:

She: oh man, what are we doing.
Me: yeah, we are so bad. We can never let anybody know about this (sarcasm)

She I normally never do this.
Me: Yeah, usually it’s not this easy to pick me up either.

She: I can’t sleep with you.
Me: Yeah, I also can’t sleep with you. I hardly know you.

She: I really can’t sleep with you.
Me: We won’t. We’re just gonna kiss and make out a little.
(while I said all this I simply continued with kissing her all over her body and taking of our clothes.)

After a while we both only had our underwear on. Then her couch suddenly fell apart, so we moved to her bedroom. There I just continued doing my thing until we were both fully undressed.

I was executing Pimps Lick Method©, when all of a sudden I noticed a tiny white cord in front of my nose. Turns out she was on her period. As long as she isn’t bloody I don’t care about that, but she didn’t want to remove it. It was her LMR Secret Weapon.
So I just continued to make out for then.

After a while I thought: fuck it! I’m not leaving before I lay this chick. So I pushed my finger inside her, all the way around her tampon, so that I could massage her G-spot.
After an hour of doing this and more making out, I finally got her so horny that she said: "I’ll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom."
She went to the bathroom to take that tampon out and take a shower. When she returned we had sex. After that we fell asleep and I woke up at eleven because she was licking me ear. Well, I thought it was her, but when I looked up it turned out to be one of her cats.

Then after she woke up we had sex again. She told me she was going to visit her mother later that day, so I gave her a big fat hickey in her neck.
For the rest of the morning we stayed in bed.

Her: You should let me know the next time you come to club Escape.
Me: Cool, I will think about that.
Her: Or we should exchange numbers, or I will never see you again.

In the afternoon she brought me to the train station, but not before we went to eat at my favourite restaurant: Burger King. Afterwards we exchanged numbers:

Me: Hey, you should give me your number, or I won’t be able to stalk you.
Her: Yeah, you should give me your number as well.

Then I waved her goodbye as my train took off.

LR: Tha Milf-Lord strikes back! Part 1

Last week on Sunday I was on the guest list of Club Escape in Amsterdam thanks to one of my wings, Release. We went there together with two of his friends. After chilling on the dance floor for half an hour I said: "I’m gonna check out the rest of club. I’ll be back."

So I was walking through the club when suddenly I ran into a hot girl. We started to dance and grind and after a while we started kissing. We didn’t actually say something for the first 10/15 minutes. The first thing I said to her was:
“You love to tease, don’t you?”
She: “No, you. I think you are bad.”

After 30 minutes or so, we went upstairs to smoke a cig and get something to drink. We took a seat on a couch. Here are a couple of highlights from the conversation we had there:

Me: Who are you here with?
She: I am alone
ME: Really? Respect. That’s awesome.
She: Yeah, I think it’s much more fun, when I go out by myself. I can do whatever I want and I meet a lot of great people.

She: How old are you?
Me: What do you think?
She: 25
Me: I’m 24, but last Wednesday I was still 23. How old are you?
She: 36
Me: Really, you can hardly tell. (then I start kissing her again)

Me: I bet you are going to brag tomorrow to your girlfriends about how you scored this 12 year younger guy in a club.
She: Yeah of course, aren’t you gonna brag to your friends.
Me: Yeah, I just did. When I went to the toilet I send out a text message to tell them I´ve broken my age-record.

(I actually did send out that sms, and my oldest woman before this one was ´only´ 10 years older than me)

Then we went back to the dance floor. I noticed she was a very good dancer, so I commented on that. Appeared that she worked in clubs as a stage dancer when she was younger, and she also used to dance in a couple of house music videos that aired on international tv. Nowadays she is a clothing stylist and she also makes S and M suits.

After dancing for an hour or so we went back upstairs, because we had to take a piss.
She: I have to go to the toilet
Me: Yeah, me too
She: Too bad, I can’t come with you
Me: Well, okay, I will make an exception for you. You can come for this one time.
She: Yeah, I want to, but they are very strict on it in this club. They check who goes into what toilet the whole time.

A little later my wing Release came by to tell me that he was going home. So I said to my chick: “Hold on, I’ll be right back. I have to say something to my friends”
When I came back I told her that my friends were leaving.

She: “Aren’t you going with them?”
Me: “No, I’m still having too much fun. Its too early for me to leave.”
She: “But how will you get home”
Me: “Alone, by train” (puppydog face)

Note: me and my friends came to the club by car and if I took the train home it would take me at least an hour.

Then we continued dancing together while till the party was suddenly over.
When the music stopped and the lights went on, we went to get our coats and left.

Outside the club:
She: So what will you do now.
Me: Well, I could go home. All alone. With the train. In the middle of the night.
But… I don´t feel that at all, so I guess I´ll just stay at your place instead.
She: Allright!
Me: You are such a bad girl.
She: Why
Me: Picking up 12 year younger boys from the club. That´s bad!
She: No way, you picked me up.
Me: No way.

Stay tuned for the second half of my layreport,
where I conquer what is probably the longest Last Minute Resistance ever.
I have to do some homework now, but I will post it probably tommorow.

Lay Report!

Last week I had my very first real one night stand! Before that I always went on a date first or was involved in longtermrelationships. A new high has been reached and it just keeps getting beter! Anyway, I´m still working on the lay report, but it´s almost finished. So keep an eye on my blog this week.

Keep on pimpin!

The ultimate game for KJ´s

I just found the ultimate game for KJ´s:

"The Game"

FR: Why you SHOULD bring sand to the beach!

I noticed there´s a big difference between going out with male friends or with female friends. David D. recommends making friends with 5 girls just to hang out with. As I always have had more female than male friends I can say he's absolutely right. For example, when other girls see you come in the club together with females they will instantly fire ioi´s towards you.

Last saturday I went to the club with 2 female friends of mine. When we came inside we immediately hit the dancefloor. Thanks to the girls I was automatically social proofed. Many girls came dancing near us. There was a HB9 walking by a couple of time and we had some intense eyecontact. So when a salsasong came up, i just stretched my hand out to her, and we started dancing. After the dance I went back to my friends, because I wanted to open some more sets. They were High5-ing me, and saying "good job man!", which lifted my state even more.
So the rest of the night I was basically on fire. I must have done 12 shortsets that night. (if you want to know more about shortsetmethod, search the td archive)

From now on I´m going to sarge a lot more with girls, and less with (community-)guys, because I want to fieldtest this some more.

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