P.i.m.p.s Mailbag Volume 1

I occasionnally get questions by mail, and I decided to answer the interesting ones on my blog from now on, so other people can benefit from it as well. Here we go:

Hey,
I was just reading your blog. It's a very interesting read.

I was wondering what the "hetero/homo opener" is? I live in New York City and
there's so many pick-up artists most of the good openers have already been worn
out!!!

I usually open sets with a teenage mutant ninja turtle pez dispenser, but I find
I often run out of pez halfway through the night.

Also, I might be visiting Hamburg in a couple of months. Is it worth it to learn
some German(I only speak English and Spanish)?

Or do most people speak some english?

Cheers,
John (name changed for privacy)

Heey John,

I only use improvisation lately during my sets instead of routines, so I might aswell (finally) tell you guys the homo hetro opener. It goes like this(translated from dutch):

The Homo/Hetro opener

Hey guys, I need a female opinion.
I was just standing near the bar,
and suddenly I guy came up to me
and he asked me if he could order me a drink.
So I got a little worried,
Do you guys think I look hetro or gay?

This opener has never let me down. Allthough I advise you to only use it if you´re sure you don´t look gay, or it might backfire on you. ;-)

To answer your second question:
You won´t have to learn german, or any other language for that matter, if you come to Europe as long as you can speak english. Almost everybody speaks english as a second language, especially the youth. And if you come do come to Europe, don´t forget to drop by Amsterdam, because that´s where it is really happening.

P.i.m.p

PS. If someone else has a question, feel free to drop me an e-mail.